Shame, Blame & Guilt

There is some powerful energy in thoughts and emotions of shame, blame and guilt. Similar to anger, they have a truth in them, but the truth is a bit co-opted by the ego. The truth by itself - things like "I was unkind or insensitive", or "I was cruel or thoughtless" or "he was selfish" or "she is emotionally unavailable" - is simple and unburdened. The baseline truth has the quality of taking responsibility where appropriate and recognizing someone else's responsibility without anything extra. It holds boundaries both inwardly and outwardly.

Truth stops there and that is where wisdom and compassion are. But, our mind hates the feeling of being wrong. And even hates taking responsibility because the pain of it can be too much to handle. So, it projects in and out. Both of those are deflecting the truth and the power of the moment.

Blame projects out. Shame and guilt project in.

But both are trying to deflect from the pain.

It hurts when someone has neglected us, lied to us, failed us, etc. It hurts when we have betrayed someone, made a mistake, spoken unkindly, harmed someone with our words or actions, etc. But, the pain is where the healing hides, where the understanding is revealed, where wisdom and compassion arise.

"He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. He who blames himself is halfway there. He who blames no one has arrived"  - Chinese Proverb

Without tumbling into an unbearable threshold, allow yourself to feel crushed by your own or someone else's actions. Staying grounded in the felt sense of the body, allow yourself to feel "your feet on the ground" at the same time your mind rushes around trying to blame or shame. Feel the energetic and sensory pain. For short periods. Recognize the ego's attempt to escape the pain by projecting. Gently notice and feel the edge of the pain again.

Gentle. Being. Pain. Deflection. Feeling. Edges. Gentle. Breathing. Feeling.