Owning Judgement & Anger So We Don't Have to Act It Out
If we’ve got a lot of judgment happening in our mind-stream, one thing we may need to do is to bring it more to the surface. We may actually need to make the space to exaggerate it a little.
This can be done within our practice or with someone else if they can hold the space of presence. But the point is that we're drawing the energy out from the "background." How do you know if this is useful or needed?
If you notice you are constantly judging and getting pissed off at the things people are doing around you, or at yourself for the way you are doing things.
This is "death by a thousand cuts" conditioning. It never rises to the level of rage, because all the judgements are about small things that should or should not be happening. They are, in some ways, not really noticed and tracked. But if you shine a light on the pattern and you are honest, you are doing it a lot. Doing subtle things all the time is one of the ways conditioning avoids detection! Clever.
But maybe ultimately not so clever, because by not contacting the anger, it's basically being left unprocessed, which means unintegrated, which means it can't be a resource for us.
So if you're judging someone, try judging the crap out of them. Write down everything you think is wrong with them. All the thoughts you will not let yourself have because you think you should be beyond them. Write what you actually think about them and their shitty, unacceptable behavior. Be thorough. Use image. Let yourself have the energy completely.
And then invite presence to touch it. To make contact with it. Put down the pen, and become a channel for it. Reclaim your vitality. Your aliveness. Your buoyancy. Your no. Your self-trust. Your sense of being you without anyone else's interference.
We want to be whole, and that means taking back all the parts we orphaned.