What Is The Origin Of This?

Our thinking mind can really have field day trying to figure out why a particular emotion or state is arising, is so persistent, or is so big. The thinking mind darts around in an attempt to bring explanation to our emotion or state. We search for an explanation because explanations often bring some relief. But, most often, the explanations our thinking mind comes up with are superficial, or they deflect real responsibility.

Inquiry allows us to ask "WTF?", but the answer comes from a much deeper place. We are able to get closer to the origins of the emotion, state, reaction. The origins are what caused an initial wound, and then habits formed in defense of the wound. Usually, when something is very painful or persistent, we will find numerous times in our life when this emotion, state, or reaction has played out. The deepest wounds keep creating circumstances to re-trigger the wound in hopes of finally being faced, held, and understood.  

Often a series of questions can help us unravel the tangled mess. You can add questions, and play around with phrasing or order, depending on what your issue is, but it goes something like this:

• What is this?

• What do I need to know about this right now?

• What is the origin of this (fill in the blank - fear, anger, defensiveness, distrust, doubt, jealousy, revenge...)?

• Show me all the places in my life when "this" has appeared.

• Show me the purpose or role of "this" in the past.

• Show me what I need to heal or understand to relate to "this" differently.

When you work with bigger issues and these questions, it's best to be in a meditative space, and to write your answers down after each question. Additional information often will fill out as you are writing. Take your time. Spread the questions out if you get fatigued.