"Staying In" Creates New Pathways for Relationship & Action
"Staying In" means completely owning and inhabiting our own energetic and physical space.
Rather than abandoning our body-mind and matching the energy of a frenetic (and often very deluded) world, we practice again and again abiding in our inner body as refuge. We are undeterred by our tendency toward distraction. We forgive ourselves completely and totally for each and every moment of distraction and re-commit to being at home in ourselves and our own experience. We do this ceaselessly, like a love affair.
We are no longer on autopilot in terms of our responses to the world or other people. There is a natural waiting. A sensing. An ongoing inquiring into each moment that asks "what is needed right now?"
Sometimes the answer is "nothing." Nothing is needed. There is nothing to say. No more to do in the situation. Maybe there were a few thoughts that told me that I needed to respond, but I'm grounded. I'm here. I'm deeply listening to myself and the situation. I want to know what's true. And the felt-sense is that there is absolutely nothing to do. So I rest. I allow the situation to go its own way even though part of the conditioning enjoys the drama, enjoys being right, enjoys the argument.
Sometimes the answer is "something." So I stay grounded. I inquire carefully. "What needs to be said to this person right now?" "What is being asked of me?" I wait. I don't do more than the inquiry reveals. I'm not trying to be someone. I'm not trying to prove something in the eyes of others. If I stay with each moment, I find I get the next piece. I don't get the whole picture all at once. I don't know how it's going to resolve. But I work skillfully. Just the next piece. I say what needs to be said, even if it is difficult and I need to go slow. I check my intention before I speak, particularly if the person I'm talking to may resist what I am saying.
We are humble. Our prayer is that - if we are not seeing something that is keeping us from being free - that someone or something will show it to us. We want to know what is in they way! We want to become completely conscious of how we are bound. There is no other way to work with suffering.
And being grounded and learning to stay in our experience is the only way any of this is going to be noticed. It is the first and last resource.